I feel as though I am being blindly guided down a trail, as if by fate or the essence of GOD himself, and each next step reveals itself to me any time I accept my position. Being true to my action seemed very easy within the scope of my own ego, but interaction involving others require a lot more focus than I had originally anticipated. I have much to learn always, but the small island of knowledge I have accumulated is a very comforting place to sleep in. I may need to cut down on the substance intake, especially alcohol(this is a permanent decision), but maybe bud as well.
I broke a girl's heart yesterday. Perhaps not all at once, but after some time, I suppose it had to have been my destructive intention. She had the look in her eye of a child first witnessing lightning, and first knowing fear. I can't believe I would fight to clear all the demons from her world only to become the greatest of all of them. I know passion and it's effects are only temporary, but I truly know what love is from this girl. A never-ending patience. A binary true, and timeless in all regards. To indulge in this physical form any more is scary to me, but I suppose I should learn of that as well. Securities grant me no interest. I hope to find allies in this study into the unknown, but perhaps alone is the way I must learn until I have a suredness in myself once again. I take another step.
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